feeling so fcuked up again

5th september 07, wednesday


woke up late. get prepared and went to take bus to school. met baoman on the way on the bus. making our way to school. she accompanied me to my school first. then afterwards, went to opposite sunshine plaza to have lunch.

after lunch, walked to bugis for her shopping. went Everlast to get her shoes. she has the size she want, but not the color. so bought it, decided to change it again. went all the way to heeren to change colour. we took train there.

train was damn fcuking cramped. those people also like no brain. no space to move already, still squeezed here and there. is like wtf? alighted at somerset and walked all the way to heeren. on our way, stopped by a model agency staffs, those as usual scam i tink. talked those rubbish like, "we are looking for a freelance model, i tink you suits our criteria for our project." aiyah, wadever crap, just quickly gave our contacts and left.

went to Everlast (heeren) to get her shoes changed. then we walked all the way to dhoby ghaut to take train back to serangoon. saw li jun in serangoon, went serangoon central mac to slack. talking about clubbing, there's clubbing tmr. but so damn fucking stressed by it. i wanna go, but NO MONEY! hell no money lah, freaking broke.

then the "i hate myself" feeling is back again. committing suicide always always comes to my mind, there's always a voice within me saying, "jump and everything will be settled once and for all". cant take it anymore la, i dun wan all this stupid stress, LIFE SUCKS i noe.. STUPID LIFE.

i just wanna die la, feeling so fucked up, my life's all ruined and screwed. went buy a bottle of Hooch and drink. stupid their atm machine got problem. cant purchased with atm. wtf? so only managed to buy 1 bottle, hoping this one bottle could make me drunk like hell, which is impossible.

asked gerald come meet us, then he bought 2 bottles, one hooch and one bacardi peach. i drank the peach. again cant get drunk! only went abit high. stupid sia. prank calls some people, making stupid noises. fcuked lah... i swear i gonna get drunk one day.

slacked and took some photos.

i want to go for plastic surgery one day, to change my whole image sia. kns. fucked, so many things i wanna do. looking for a sponsor somewhere.

im such a idiot. =.= FUCKED sia...

oh ya, twin bro is sick. get well soon dude! (: