slept till 4pm in the afternoon. wow, pig sia. (oink oink) haha. then go online. time very fast pass le. 6 something, quickly bath then go for cell grp. my sis n priscilla coming too. met mr.gui, charis n jj in plantation ave. they jus came back frm sentosa. then walked wif them go for cell grp lo.
sin lee said he is joinin for cell grp too. ron went to fetch him. but ron took super long tym. noe y? coz sin lee too paiseh le. oso duno wad he paiseh. ask him come into the house oso paiseh. aiyo. how can a man bahave lyk tis. aiyo. then sis gillain cor me go out to hlp. i went out trying very hard to persuade him. he oso same. paiseh paiseh paiseh. then soon after charis oso came out to hlp cor him go in. sis gillian dun wan to drag le. jj came out awhile, gui sheng came out awhile. even sister gilian oso came out to persuade him. still same answer. PAISEH. haha. aiyo. then nvm, we all go in. gave up le. aiyo. wasted so much time.
soon, we started playing games first. then carry on. blah blah blah. soon cell grp finish liao. carol prepared refreshments. yum yum! nice. then played basketball then soccer. then go home le. nice friday. heeheex.
tis sat, 18th march 06, went to expo late. late for bible study. oh no. heehee. sister jol say next wk CANNOT late liao. haha. i promise liao. mm, then met charis, cai ping then followed by carol after my bs.
soon, at ard 0345pm we went to queue up. ron was super in front. so he hlp book seats. he actually managed to book 2 rows of seats, but gt this guy see ron one person then like can bully, shouted across to ron saying he already book. then faster ask his cell grp member sit down. ron faster cor us to come quick quick. but still nt enuff ppl lo. he still managed to "steal" the seats away. can see ron not very happy.
nevamind la, but still manage to find another row of seats behind. so quickly put bag to book. haha. sounds very kiasu.
anyway, very glad tat cher siew is coming back! wee wee. my cousin is coming too. beginning to see revival in my family. so thank God! =) service was good. very good.
then after service, gather for awhile, had light refreshment at the back. then ron & mr. gui went to book seats in ma lan la mian. only rick, mr. gui, ron, sheng long, sis gillian eat nia. the rest jus sit down there talk talk. haha. y? coz no money. lol. then the generous mr. gui treated everyone drink. haha. wow.
then after eating, listen to 2 very "SCARY" stories sia. from cher siew and mr. gui. wow, super scary. haha. then play games. have fun. haha.
so, in the end took train home. the rest were in the train le except me & ron. sianz. coz we took lift. haha. sry guys. but have fun all the way home. love n20.
back home, received a letter frm nyp. appeal and dae unsuccessful. went online check rp dae, unsuccessful. super duper sad. no mood le. my heart jus sank down and down and down and down. it was like y isit me. and only me.
i admit, i start doubting God. asking why why and why. is there reeli a God up there to help me? mood was super low. believe me, u dun wan to tok to him at that tym. i may freak out any moment.
then told charis my problem. called her hp. talk for some time. i dun reeli have the mood to talk. i was condemin myself. i hated myself very much. doubting God at the same tym. i was jus feeling super lost and down. i didnt noe wad to do.
after talkin half way, i broke down totally. i could nt control myself. i hung up charis fone. she called agn n agn, i reject call. sry buddy. dint wan to do tat. i jus couldnt control myself anymore. i sms and apologised to her. i was reeli feeling very bad. crying out for God's help. i reeli need His help at this moment. while i was crying for his help, i felt something. a warm feeling that wraps over me. i was comforted. i felt the warm. i knew it was God. He is our encourager. He is our comforter. i was cooling down then. i jus knew it was Him.
thk you God for everything. He reminded me that i still can turn to Him for help. He give me all the peace and comfort that i need. it dint took a long tym for me to stop. oh God, i give you of all my praise. a BIG thank you!
rick called me and pray wif me. i could felt the love of God covering all over me when praying. i felt as though i reeli can receive wadeva was said in the prayer: peace, clear mind, etc.. i believe God was real. not an imaginary thing. miracles do happen. holy spirit is not wad you can easily imitated and visualised on your own wisdom. it is a gift from God. and i thk God for giving me the gift. it was precious to me. thk you.
ever since the incident yesterday, i felt stronger in emotional and everything. i know how to reeli focus and depend on Him. this may be a testing to me. i would oso like to thk charis & rick for helping me. they are like trying so hard to help me. cos i reeli do felt very helpless at that time. i wanted to give up liao.
i felt so blessed to have n20 as my great frens and bro & sis in christ. you guys are the best man! i reeli do love u all so much. n20 is my life; my everything. thk you guys so much.
Jesus, i love you. =)
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