27th may 07, sunday


i feeling very bad right now. those feeling that really hurts u alot, reminds you of every unhappiness in your life and also giving the reality check of your life. most of the things are negative...

i'm not sure if you have felt this before. i hated myself for alot of things. the guilt that are in my heart for some things are still there. there's people blaming me for things that happen, that are also things that happened in a unexpected way that i cant even do anything to stop it.

why does a human's strength be so small? that i am unable to change things that happen? i hated things that are not perfect. although there's a saying, "no one in this world is perfect" but i still hated it.

how much do you love this world? how much do u love yourself? do u love yourself at all??

i hated this world. this pathetic materialistic world. i hated myself being in this world. i hated myself for who am i, i hated myself for wad i did and did not do. i hated mysef on how i look like, i hated myself for the mistakes i've committed. i hated almost everything about myself. i felt so useless and dampened. im a selfish person. my biggest enemy would actually be myself.

wouldn't it be better if one useless person that do no good to the world disappear from this world?

wtf?! i dun even noe what im posting..... is really wtf can??? what's the best thing to do when u are depressed? i drown myself with alcoholics.... i smile for it. :)

updated news

19th may 07, saturday



mum wanted a family dinner today. so in order not to disappoint her, i agreeded and did not went to church today. the whole family went to ang mo kio hub, ichiban sushi for dinner. we are having japanese cruisine for today. i was planning for today's 2D's prata. so i was calling up people and confirming people.



feeling kinda stress as planning an outing is not easy. well, halfway of dinner, i dun really have any appetite. i felt moody and upset. it reminded me of many things in the past, those upset moments and stuffs came crushing together. my mood was really very dampened. as i make my way to meet wei leong and gerald first, i didnt have the mood to do anything, not even pool.



after 15 mins of pool, we walked over to the prata to meet the rest of the 2d. i bought 2 bottles of vodka and drank. i was going emo all the way. was feeling a little dipsy at first. but i can hold my liquior well. so, im not easily drank.



slowly, thanks to my friends, they tolerated my attitude and compromised with me. i really feel bad. so sorry if i offended you guys in some ways of another. and thank you guys so much for being there for me. :)





20th may 07, sunday



went out with the 2ds today. went to bugis and walked around there. there were me, hanlin, gerald, weileong, baoman and teeyue. recently we became very close. all these are my new best friends.



took lotsa dumb retard photos each to put each photos up for our caller id display pic. that's real funny.











weileong sure dunno how to pose retard











went to chill and relax all the way to late night at gerald's house. then cabbed home with weileong.





24th may 07, thursday



went to work today and today's super busy. today's the start of the great singapore sale for our store. im totally beat dread after work. i just hate going home by cab, always took me long time to flag a cab.



managed to bus instead. hurray! first time talking bus home. lol.



was conferencing in gerald's phone with hanlin, beautrice, baoman, gerald and myself. then after reaching serangoon, i met up with gerald and hanlin for supper at the N&B eating bean curd. was planning for the 2d gathering/ outing the next day. decided to go to gerald's house for party.

main highlights:
*potluck
*ps2 & com
*movie marathon
*rodney's cooking toO!

25th may 07, friday


today once woke up, played with gerald a few rounds of audition and then go and prepare to go to gerald's house. went shop n save to shop for groceries, coz im cooking for the 2d party today. lol, yeah, im cooking. this dish is taught by pearly. very nice. im pretty sure the 2d like it and enjoy it.

weileong helped to stir fried the hotdogs. and baoman sort of helped to clean those hotdogs etc. was watching some taiwan drama. then played mahjong etc. people came was gerald, me, hanlin, weileong, chengfeng, colin, baoman, beautrice and karen.

really enjoyable. then 930pm went prata to meet the other rest of 2d members like ningying and samuel, alwyn and justin. then afterwards went rising star to play audition. its the whole 2d playing! lol. nice one.

after lan, all accompanied me to central mac to have supper. was eating at the playground and we are spending really quality time with each other. was sharing all sorts of things and really talking. cant believe we are still so close after all graduated from the same sec 1 class. as united and close as before. :)

after talking till 0530am, we all went home. nice time of bonding. =]

total maddness in ti amo cafe bar

18th may 07, friday


today my awake was disturbed by weileong. =.= i was having a nice dream while weileong sms me and i was awake by that. lol. then got up prepared and stuffs like that. i'm meeting gerald at serangoon central first to have our lunch at mac.

after lunch, we cabbed to clarke quay to meet weileong and hanlin. weileong arrived first then followed by hanlin. we walked around doing some simple window shopping. then went to billy bombers to accompany weileong to have his lunch. after his lunch, went to visit ningying at her shop.

then after that, we didnt stayed there for long, and we went for the interview of my job intro by a model agency. the agent totally forgotten about my appointment with her and she went for meeting in dragonfly already. so no choice, we cant do the interview today.

then hanlin and gerald went off to meet joseph for another job interview. i and weileong then walked back to clarke quay to meet baoman and ningying at her shop again. after some chatting, baoman, weileong and me went off first. we cabbed to first bugis to drop weileong and baoman as they meeting hanlin and gerald and me continue to cab to gabriel's house for cell grp meeting.

today cell group no sermon and was short. so was very happy. haha. then quickly i went off to cab to prata shop to meet the 2d people. there were ningying, samuel, joyce, weileong, teeyue, baoman, gerald, hanlin and me.

after prata, teeyue, baoman, gerald, hanlin and me went ti amo to chill. ordered tequila shots for 3 of us, hanlin, baoman and myself. teeyue ordered cosmopolitan and fried calamari. and the teeyue was so disiao la. she keep playing with baoman and then accidentally knocked off her glass and caused the glass to break and the drinks spilled on the floor and to baoman's leg, hanlin's shoes and to my face! lol.

after ti amo, went opposite mac to chill even more. was singing out high at the back of the mac and eating ice cream. then after wards we went to gerald house to play awhile. i, hanlin and gerald was playing bleach. the gerald was indeed a bully...

took lotsa pictures. enjoy.



gerald looking retard in prata shop



baoman posing for the camera



we just love taking pictures that are natural when people are not noticing. lol.









my new best friends shots



a reshot for my new best friends 2









after 4 years of the same class, we still taking the same old class photo. lmao.



all doing retard faces.



that's when i became mr. lonely



girls bitchy, boys going cool



everyone beating up baoman



the legend of bai fa mo nu baoman doing the teacher pose. lol.



penguin teeyue



doing retard actions, lol



baoman posing as teacher





practicing body waving in mac



that's jay chou in serangoon central mac!?

pre mother's day shopping

12 may 07, saturday

met up with the 2d peeps again, spending time with them is really great and enjoyable. is a moment of priceless. the joy and bonds we have, is irreplaceable. i and gerald met up first to cab to bugis.

baoman went to meet ningying first in outram park station. yixian and hanlin will be meeting us later after their dance lesson. four of us, me, gerald, baoman and ningying first went to eat in some streets behind bugis icon shopping mall. ate thai cuisine.
afer our dinner, went around seiyu to look for our mother's day gift. i and gerald bought a necklace each. then afterwards we went bugis street to walk around. meeting yixian, hanlin and joseph there. now the seven of us was walking around bugis checking out on clothes, shoes, studs etc.

ningying got to go home early due to her curfew. so we sent her home before we went to eat for our supper. yixian and joseph did not join us. called up weileong and he's joining us for supper. while waiting for him to reach serangoon, we danced under the void deck. hanlin teaching their hiphop to us and me teaching my house to them. learning different genre of dance is sure fun and interesting.

weileong came and we all went to serangoon mac to have supper.



while ordered of food, half way eating, the wet market behind us caught fire in some reason and was spreading. first time in my life i saw emergencies like this one.

weileong and gerald are like heros in those tv drama, they did not hesitate to help but quickly reacted calmly to situation. they searched for fire hose and doing all this till the fireman came. we continued of eating. the lights in the macdonalds were being shut down. i wanted to go to the toilet but it was too dark, it was really pitch black dark. so i asked for hanlin and gerald's accompany. they are willing, i felt so blessed to have friends like them.

then after business is done, went gerald's house downstairs to slack and dance even more. i and weileong was learning the hanlin's dance routine. then perhaps we are too noisy in the middle of midnight, police came and scanned us. so did what was supposed to be done. the one of the police officer asked for my mobile phone to be checked. i was thinking how come so weird as it was only mine being checked but not the rest. they said i got the ah beng face that will like go around stealing people's handphones. haha.

then after being scanned, all of us decided to come over my house to ton and stayed over. got them to bath first. only hanlin dint went home bath, so lent my tee and pants to him. gave me a brand new boxer to change too. nah, im not taking back the boxer. lol. after watching a little of saw 2 (only baoman was watching), i and gerald was playing chinese chess while hanlin and weileong was playing english chess. then we all watched the dollmaster. was kinda interesting, but not horror enough to scare us.

after movie, we all squeezed into a blanket size and sleep. the feeling is like back in chalet. was talking among ourselves. and then sleep. weileong and baoman went home early in the morning at 8am, while hanlin and gerald continued to sleep till 2pm in the afternoon then go home. once again, i really enjoyed as far as i could when i was with them. they simply added life into my life. love you all. friends forever. next time lets go out again yea?

2d outing at town

11 may 07, friday


today's been a very enjoyable time for me. it's also my off day. took this chance to organise a outing in town with the 2d people. there were me, hanlin, gerald, baoman, weileong, yixian and beautrice.

we met at heeren and i was like going on a shopping spree. keep buying stuffs that i like. last night, again was like a shopping spree for me again. last night bought a bag and 2 shirts and a jacket from flesh imp. and today bought a shirt from 77th street and a skinny jeans from topman.

went around from heeren to taka to wisma to far east and then to cineleisure. went to watch a movie called 28 weeks later.



the movie was alright. then after movie, we went to serangoon to have supper. was feeling sick and had a fever. so dint attend cell group today.

had men's talk till the girls came. we are having some serious talking. the people were very open to share about each family background. was quite touching to hear each story. then after talking, we cabbed home.

7th may 07, sunday


wonder what's wrong with blogger. the navigation and page seems weird. so i cant change the font size and pattern and also the colour. but nevamind, just continue to do my blogging. woke up and get prepared, quickly cabbed to work.

work was tiring, plus not enough rest. but was okay so far.

and today something happen half way in my work. i got so stunned. i saw pearly and her bf, leonard today. its been around 2 years plus i haven seen her already. so kinda stunned and missed her. my mood seems affected after that. cant really concentrated in work. i kept thinking on what happen earlier. after 2 years plus, i seems like got lots and lots of things to catch up with her like a normal friend. but all of a sudden, it seems speechless. i dunno wad to say. i was simply lost in speech.

how i wish i could see her again. i really wana befriend with her all over again. from that moment onwards, i dun seems to be like myself at all. pearly, if u are reading this, i miss you alot. all the best.

6th may 07, saturday

today's service was good. after service, quickly took train and bus-ed to serangoon prata shop to meet my 2d peeps again. this time, only gerald, weileong, baoman and hanlin could make it. i seriously dun like the customer service of the prata shop. always fails to deliver my order properly.

after prata, we walked to gerald's house to ton over. we have decided to stay over to watch 200 pounds beauty.



it's a very nice show. oh ya, we played bleach ps2 in gerald's house before watching. after watching, its already 4plus am! and im working full shift the next day! hanlin, weileong and baoman not going home, continue staying in gerald's house. but i have to go, so i cabbed home myself. but really enjoyed the company of these friends.

once i reached home, quickly get bathed and sleep.

weekly prata gathering

4th may 07, friday


today's evening prayer meeting at gabriel's house was cancelled. so went out with my sis to go for a session of lan-ing for one hour. after lan-ing, walked over to the usual prata shop to meet the 2d(s).

lots of people turned up for the prata gathering today. its a really great time of bonding and getting to know each other even more deeper. i really do enjoy every single moment with them. i really feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends like you guys.

was crapping and talking about anything under the sun, cracking jokes etc. after prata, we headed off to our another usual meeting place besides the highlands along yio chu kang road. its a pool cum bar place.

then i, hanlin, teeyue, baoman and gerald went to central mac to have ice cream then sent teeyue home. we returned to the pool place and continue our chats. again, everything under the sun. lol.

after slacking and chatting till 4am. all of us went home. again, i cabbed home myself. enjoy today. and tmr having movie marathon at one of our house. :)

kan pua suay today

2nd may 07, wednesday


its been very unlucky for me today. woke up very early today to prepare to go to work. was very glad i'm able to do it. coz i really dun wan to be late. so after getting prepared and stuffs, went down to hail cab, hoping there's one. but the worst thing of all is there is not one but NONE!

so no choice, time's running out. called up a cab and quickly rushed to marina square. boss called and was really very embarrassed about it. my heart's pumping so hard, im so panicked.

after i reached, all unlucky things started to happen one by one. regina took mc today. so marina short of manpower. i was then transfered to marina to do relief. trained there. was really pissed at first, coz i booked a cab and total cost was $10. then now transfered to marina.

then after in marina, i lost my ring. =.= sales was bad today too. i dont like today at all... :(