EYE-dolised

27th may 07, sunday


i feeling very bad right now. those feeling that really hurts u alot, reminds you of every unhappiness in your life and also giving the reality check of your life. most of the things are negative...

i'm not sure if you have felt this before. i hated myself for alot of things. the guilt that are in my heart for some things are still there. there's people blaming me for things that happen, that are also things that happened in a unexpected way that i cant even do anything to stop it.

why does a human's strength be so small? that i am unable to change things that happen? i hated things that are not perfect. although there's a saying, "no one in this world is perfect" but i still hated it.

how much do you love this world? how much do u love yourself? do u love yourself at all??

i hated this world. this pathetic materialistic world. i hated myself being in this world. i hated myself for who am i, i hated myself for wad i did and did not do. i hated mysef on how i look like, i hated myself for the mistakes i've committed. i hated almost everything about myself. i felt so useless and dampened. im a selfish person. my biggest enemy would actually be myself.

wouldn't it be better if one useless person that do no good to the world disappear from this world?

wtf?! i dun even noe what im posting..... is really wtf can??? what's the best thing to do when u are depressed? i drown myself with alcoholics.... i smile for it. :)